Some People’s Kids Part 2

Gumby that i just posted about has an unwilling sidekick.  Sure enough, Pokey fits.  This guy once crashed a bicycle into two different parked cars in one hour.  Here is how it happened.  All junior sailors were tasked to be at the theater for career day.  It was to start promptly after PT and end around lunch time.  The uniform was clean and pressed utilities.  So, my junior second and I were tasked with holding down the fort at the HAZMINCEN we are both TAD to.  Around 0900, I was on the phone with Enironmental trying to solve that day’s “crisis”.  In walks Pokey.  I motion him to a chair until I finish my business.  Unless this kid has a damn good reason for not being at his appointed place of duty, he’s about to get both barrels from me.  I end my conversation with Environmental, and I am in a foul mood. 

“Fireman, why are you here?”

“I crashed into a car on my bicycle.”

Now I shift gears to the compassionate guy and get the facts, I thought.  He had been to medical, and been cleared fit for full duty.  I call the duty Chief and relay the story. As I am relaying the incident to Chief Pokey tells me there’s more.  To say this kid is dumb as a sack of hammers is an insult to hammers everywhere.

“It was actually two cars.”

Long story short, this report goes to the Command Duty Officer, and the Supply Officer.  I think nothing of any of this for a while, and put the guy to work.  Fit for full duty means just that.  Shrtly after, the division officer, a full LT calls and summons us to Suppo’s office, immediately.  By now, I have had to relay this story a handful of times, and I let Pokey speak for himself.  I only had to kick him in the ankle two or three times for not saying sir.  The highlight of the day was a Lt(j.g.) saying what we were all thinking.  “Son, have you ever thought of buying a car?”


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